and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
