I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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