is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
