Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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