it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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