My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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