I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
