This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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