there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
