She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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