Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
