we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
