that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
