Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
