now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
