Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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