I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
