i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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