the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
