no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
