I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
