You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
