I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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