Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
