One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
should my penis look like a turkey
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
