sorry about calling you the devil all night.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
