Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
