Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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