Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
