I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
