Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize