You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
