i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
