He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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