on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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