The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
