is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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