found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
