Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize