he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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