There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
