I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
