New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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