Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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