go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize