I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
