its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
