Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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