I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
