glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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