we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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