Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize