she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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