Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Hippo gnu deer
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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