im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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