glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
