i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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