so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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